LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN..

He kissed you in may & broke your heart the next January. it should have been okay after a while but it has been two years since you sat in his beetle & listened to his singing his favorite song "yellow Ledbetter" by pearl jam at the top of his voice. he left you trapped in constant heartache. the next two years, you thought about all the guys who left you before you tell them that you wanted to spend all your life with them. you found the way of dealing with pain anyway. when your friends gather together on a cliched day like valentines you call yourself 'forever alone' & chuckle. you sigh & whisper in your head quietly 'hopefully not always' though. you write 'lol' after pouring your heart out to your friends on a text. your ex-boyfriend told you that ice-cream fixes all the chaos in your heart & you didn't understand it then but now when you are sitting & watching Django unchained for the umpteenth time, you eat ice-cream & realize that it really does. your friends push you to confess to your crush but you always tell them that you are okay with it just being a crush. you hug your pillow & sleep at night & sometimes, it feels warmth & you almost feel like everything is getting better. 

You don't choose things that aren't good for you anymore. your friends often label you with 'too strong to be in a relationship' & that annoys you but you never say anything. you aren't too strong or fragile. its just that sometimes you wonder what you could even offer in a relationship. you count all the good things about you & feel like maybe you wont be enough. you don't want to be left again by some other person you were falling in love with. you want to be accepted & loved like others but you are willing to take your time. you've settled for too much for all the things that didn't deserve you & you are okay with being careful. you are not afraid of being single. & one day, you meet a person like you. you hang-out & talk about a lot of things & they tell you that your choice is valid & that you do not need love to complete yourself. they tell you how you both are incapable of love..... at that point, you look at them & feel dumbfound. you realize they aren't like you at all. you aren't one of those few who chose to be alone at their life. its just things worked out that way. you sit on the park bench & think about it a lot. you ask yourself if you are really incapable of love. 

you remember the day when you were 15 & your friends & you jumped off the bridge into the river with loud splash. you remember the way your laughter echoed in the entire neighborhood & disappeared into the orange yellow sky. you still cant forget their gleaming eyes & their innocent smile. you really loved that moment. sometimes when you're in a meeting, you are reminded of the biology class of your 8th grade when your best friend cracked a dirty joke during reproduction chapter & you laughed soo hard that you fell off your chair. you still think about it & it erases all your tension. & when you're in bad mood but you return home & see your cat running to the door & you hug it & brush your cheeks against its fur, you don't know how it works but you feel like you're recharged & okay. sometimes you hear yellow Ledbetter by yourself & you remember the way his skin felt against yours & that feeling crawls from your gut to your face & leaves you blushing. that moment is everything & everything. you like doing your makeup & painting your nails & when you look good, you sit in front of the mirror for a few minutes & compliment yourself in your mind. you realize that you love being loved & loving people & yourself. you aren't one of the few who are okay with being alone & that's fine.

For the first time in a long time, you realize that you still have a lot of hope & you stop making self-depreciating jokes. & when you meet them again & they tell you how love is not supposed to complete you, you tell them you're entirely wrong. love isn't always romantic but it exist in every nook & corner of this world. its warmth that your heart always looks for, its happiness that you always seek & you enjoy it more when you can share it with everyone you love & everyone who loves you. you hold their hand & tell them that you aren't incapable of love, you aren't just ready for a partner. A single relationship cannot complete you, but love can.

LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN.....