-NOTHINGNESS

-NOTHINGNESS

 There is a perception for speaking up for boundaries is somehow introducing conflict into a situation or at very least, escalating it in an unkind way, like everything was fine until you spoke up for your needs & now you made it weird.

But not speaking up is not making the situation better, its just giving the other person more license to operate & communicating that you are okay with the behavior.

There is no prize for being the worlds most stoic & accommodating person. 

A friendship that cannot survive a the momentary discomfort of you standing up for your needs is not actually a friendship worth holding onto. nobody loves being told that they are screwing up, obviously but if you don't have the ability to ever take any negative feedback along the lines of "Hey, could you not do that one thing anymore, thanks?" from a friend, YOU are the problem.

When told that they are stepping on someone's foot, good adult people will apologize & get off the foot & not perpetuate a FEELINGSDUMP about their need to really stand on feet sometimes.

Communicating, 'Hey, that's where boundary is, thanks' IS KINDNESS.

It is giving the other person the tools they need to be in a good relationship with you."