*PARTING OF WAYS*

 

I don't hate you. but I wouldn't wish to one day cross the street & end up seeing you at the other end of the lane. I am brave enough in letting you go, but i'd never want to wish I had you the very second fate entwine our paths again in the future. i'd wish you every good thing that you deserve with a happy smile on my face but I wouldn't want to see that you actually did knowing that my own healing took messy turns & did not come an easy. you are just a chapter in a book of this voluminous life of mine & now your part's done. you are mere footnote of my whole life entirety & it wouldn't kill me to see how every chapter after yours will progress in your characters absence.

I wouldn't be right where you left me, never again. I will not haunt that spot but instead, it will be left like how it was before I came along, like it never met my touch. I might even find a new spot to light up the last stick inside the red beaten-up cigarettes' box I kept in my drawer, the one you left me. one last cigarettes' for the one last care I got. each puff for those I have to let go, like the smoke up my lungs that I have to breathe out afterwards. id take a mental note that one whiffs for you, one last, long whiff of every little thing you meant to me -- taking you all in slowly & making one long breath of letting you go. hands in my jean pockets, walking away without so much as thought of a last glance, the last smoke chained up my lungs now set free.