WILL THIS EVER END?

-

 

Dear diary, 

I'm too tired to form any sentences or feel any feelings. I am running out of words to tell you how empty everything seems. the emptiness takes big bites off my words, my feelings, my entirety. but its never enough, its always hungry, it always wants more. I am sick of feeding it. the room is on fire but I cant seem to leave. I am burning but I cant feel it. I've come to believe all pain cant be felt-- there's a pain we are not capable of feeling, there's a pain we can only carry with us, a pain we can only 'BECOME.'

Empty.

Empty.

Empty.

This emptiness is full of questions I dare not seek the answers to, of a loneliness I cant bear anymore, of words I've repeated to myself so often they've lost all meaning.

What does it take to stop hurting?

What does it take to feel that hurt?

What does it takes to exist without feeling the weight of it?

I'm screaming into oblivion. there's never an answer, there never was & I doubt there never will be. all is get is an echo, & an echo seems to be the loneliest sound in the world.....

Will this ever end?

Can you hear me?

IM TIRED....

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

AND SHE NEVER CAME BACK...

-
Image
  She took one look at me, sitting beside me in the car, her face showing how torn she was between wanting to stay & wanted to leave. "Go", I whispered. "But I will never come back. you realize that right?" she asked. "Yes, I do" I answered. "Then why are you letting me leave? pull me back. ask me to stay. you know that I will. just stay it once" she pleaded with me.  Oh darling, how i wish i could do that. how I wish I could tell you to stay, but you see, I know. I know that birds are not meant to be caged even if they are initially attracted by the rewards of the cage. sooner or later, they will want to fly. & I will not be the one to shoot you down. If it were up to me, I would hold you close till eternity ends & time ceases to exist. but sometimes the greatest love is in letting go. sometimes the best you can do is force a smile while your heart is being shredded apart.  Because I know you will end up well. because I am not that s...
Read more
-
IN the battles of fates, countless bonds have crumbled, leaving behind shattered hearts. love, once a beacon of hope, now dances in shards of shattered dreams. soul entwined, now torn apart, as destinies clash and tear love apart. promises whispered, vows made, now lost in the chaos, the memories fade. tears flow like rivers, hearts cries in pain, as love sweet melody turns to a mournful refrain. bonds have fallen apart, dreams have turned into dust. loves flame extinguished, leaving only shadows of trust. hearts once united, now lost in they abyss, forever mourning the love they will miss. oh wont someone lend on ear to these wounded hearts, and inquire about their yearnings of joys? oh who will pause to listen to the silent cries and untold tales of these poor souls? who will ask these broken hearts what is it they truly yearn for? what brings hem peace? these poor hearts, battered and bruised, carry the weight of unspoken desires. their silent places echo through the night, unheard...
Read more
-
Image
AND when that one for me will finally come, when he holds my hands, with their rough palms and broken lines and ask me what i did while waiting for him. i will not hide my past; how i fed on leftover affection, while working as a carpenter, building homes to people i will never be part of.  i will not hide how i carried pounds of lies on my back, while hoping the structure i was building would host me at the end. i will not hide that i part-timed in falling floors down, while nailing roofs for the rooms of hearts i will never have a chance to touch the pillow at night.  i will not hide the broken bones i got, the scars from the rough touch of time, and burnt from the risks i took.  i will not hide my palms, their broken lines of hope; i will not hide myself. i will not leave it a secret that i loved some other people for him- because i know, he would love me the same; as he also did the same.                      ...
Read more