-DAYS I WANT NO MORE!!

 

 When i was a child, i couldn't stop thinking about becoming an adult. why, i don't know. i try to tell myself that it could be because of the hope shimmering inside, telling me that i could do anything i want once i grow up. i could eat as many ice creams i wanted, i could talk to anyone, i liked. i could spend every single night watching TV, i could spend money like it wasnt mine....ugh, this list could go on forever. the point is, i was always wanting to be with the wind, indispensable but ever on the move. & for some reasons, i believed that it would be possible if i became adult, friends or no friends, my world was always lit. i have lost count of the nights i spent without a blink of sleep, because i was too excited waiting for my own birthday. i just.....i just like being me. & when i became an adult, i wanted to tell the world that.

I am a different person today, neck deep into adulthood. i now have everything that my younger self wanted. if i may, the seven year old me would even be proud. so instead of happiness, why do i have this weight over shoulder that i cant quite shake off? where is that child who smiled soo easily?

Looking back, i realise that its just freedom that the child in me has been craving for so long. the freedom that makes me look bigger in my own eyes. maybe, if someone has told me that being an adult is not about making all the decisions, but being accountable for them, i would not have have wanted it at all.