AND SHE NEVER CAME BACK...

 

She took one look at me, sitting beside me in the car, her face showing how torn she was between wanting to stay & wanted to leave.

"Go", I whispered.

"But I will never come back. you realize that right?" she asked.

"Yes, I do" I answered. "Then why are you letting me leave? pull me back. ask me to stay. you know that I will. just stay it once" she pleaded with me. 

Oh darling, how i wish i could do that. how I wish I could tell you to stay, but you see, I know. I know that birds are not meant to be caged even if they are initially attracted by the rewards of the cage. sooner or later, they will want to fly. & I will not be the one to shoot you down.

If it were up to me, I would hold you close till eternity ends & time ceases to exist. but sometimes the greatest love is in letting go. sometimes the best you can do is force a smile while your heart is being shredded apart. 

Because I know you will end up well. because I am not that selfish. because no matter where you live, just promise me that you will really live. that you will not die before you are buried. that when you see the stars at night, think of me & know that somewhere I am doing the same & thinking of you.

This is not goodbye. it is a thank you. thank you for saving me, for being with me, for loving me like no one ever did, & for making me feel alive again. thank you for all of it.

The thoughts swirled in my head & heart but I stood silent as I opened the door of the car.

She came out, gave me a tight hug, kissed me for the last time & told me that she loved me more than life itself. she then walked through the doors of the airport & never came back.

                                                                                 #ashley